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He didn’t have the courage to ask your supercute friend out, but you were cute enough, more attainable, and standing next to her, so voilà.

” Then step back, and wait for him to do something. If he doesn’t, give it a couple of days, then try again. We hit it off, the sex was amazing, and now there were four. So if you’d like to keep seeing the other women, that’s fine, and I’ll miss you a lot, but I’ll have to bow out.ANTIDOTE: Once again, more cluelessness than malice operating here. The antidote to this is the “one step forward, two steps back” protocol, as I describe it in The Tao of Dating, Ch. Sometimes you have to prime the pump to get things going again.So you give him a call, send him a message, tease him a little, and make it playfully but clearly known that his company would be welcome: “So. A month into the relationship, she issued an ultimatum that, in retrospect, was such a marvel of simplicity and effectiveness that I’ve been teaching it to my female students ever since: “Listen, I think you’re really great, and we obviously have a great time together.And then I didn’t know what to do with her when she made those doe eyes at me and said she was really, really, really looking forward to hanging out again. I can’t feel great about these stories since the experience for these ladies was probably not hugely validating.And hey, maybe I was just flattering myself and they weren’t that into me either.

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